Drunk Driving How-To: Jamal Williams, DT, San Diego Chargers

Jamal Williams Arrested For Being a Jolly Old Fat Man.

Jamal Williams, one of my most favouritest defensive tackles, was busted for drunk driving (suspicion my ass) as reported by 10news.com.

What makes this incredibly ballin’ is not that Jamal Williams shared the Chargers’ team-MVP with Phillip Rivers, it’s not that Jamal Williams was arrested three days after the wild-card game and was still allowed to play the Steelers in the AFC Championship — It’s that Jamal Williams is a mountain of a man.

Williams comes in at about 6′3″ and is listed at 350lbs but is probably closer to 375lbs. So how does a man get this hammered? Hammered enough to get to California’s .08 blood alcohol limit?

Blood Alcohol Calculator to the rescue!

Scott Gould Flickr

Here’s a brief recap of the hour leading up to Jamal’s arrest.

9:00pm: One Vodka Cranberry

9:10pm: One Beer

9:20pm: One Red Bull and Vodka

9:30pm: One Full Fledged Martini, none of this single shot bullshit

9:45pm: One Shot of his choice

9:52pm: One White Russian

and BAM, we’ve achieved the BARE MINIMUM in California, a .08!

A 350lb man can drink 8 standard drinks in 1 hour, and only blow a .076! That’s point .004 below the legal limit.

Please keep in mind, he probably blew over the legal limit so I bet he had one hell of a night.

While its a lot less fun to think about, he can only drink 10 in 2 hours, and then 11 or 12 in 3 hours.