Molly Montgomery to me

Jun 24

HI,
Hope all is well!

So, my plan is to come pick up Oliver the morning of July 1, Friday – probably sometime around 9:30 – 10:00.
Does that work for you?
I hope he is easy to corral into his box! My phone # is 416-966-XXXX if you need to reach me,
and I should get a # for you in case I am running late that morning.

Thanks a lot and see you on Friday.

Me to Molly

Jun 24

Hi,

Anytime is fine. If you wanted to get on the road earlier than that
and were just throwing out a polite time, I have no problem meeting
you before 9:30. Last time I spoke with Chloe, she was uncertain as to
whether you were doing it in a single day or two. I can easily wake up
early to make sure you bypass traffic or get to a certain point by a
certain time.

As for running late, just shoot me an email if you’re running more
than a couple hours late. I’ll just sit on the porch and try my best
to settle the kitty in his crate while I wait.

Chloe will probably have an additional 2′x2′x1′ box worth of stuff in
addition to the kitty crate, cat food, litter box, and toys.

If the plans change, email is far and away the easiest and fastest way
to get in touch with me.

Thanks,

Molly Montgomery to me

Jun 27

Thanks – we are going to try to do the drive in two days. With the border in Buffalo, the 4th of July and the 1st of July holiday usually means nightmare line ups, so we cross further east and drive through the Adirondacks. I hope Kitty will be able to handle a night in a hotel with two strange new people.
Poor guy. So 9:30 -10 should be ok. I will keep in touch and let you know of changes.

Thanks so much,
Molly

Molly Montgomery to me

Jul 11

Hi,
Just wanted to thank you for having all of Oliver’s stuff and Oliver himself
so well prepped and organized. It made the trip much easier.
He was very quiet most of the trip, I think he was a bit shellshocked, but
he was very easy.

I hope all is well with you.

Cheers,

Me to Molly

Jul 11

Oh, no problem! Hopefully Mark’s allergies didn’t get too bad, he was shedding quite a bit and chloe’s since commented that her clothes are full of cat hair. I figured you had quite a bit of running around to do so I’d try and minimize the amount of time that you had to spend with tedious kitty stuff.

Take care and thanks for the email,

Molly Montgomery to me

Jul 11

Hi,
Mark’s allergies were fine – one never knows when or how they flare up, but he was fine.

And I meant to say too that I hope you keep making art – you have talent -

Cheers,
Molly
Molly Montgomery

Senior Designer
Adams + Associates Design Consultants
mmontgomery@bellnet.ca
416-533-3748 x 28

Me to Molly

Sep 22

Hi Molly,

As I’m sure you know, things between Chloe and I aren’t going well,
but I wanted to make sure I fired you an email just to clarify
things.You’ve been nothing but supportive of our relationship, despite
your better judgement I’m sure. Alas, everything that Chloe’s bringing
up now, it seems as though both you and I spoke to her at length about
before she left for Boston and subsequently since then. Every argument
that Chloe and I have had revolved around her plans and corresponding
uncertainty. On numerous occasions I figured it was best to give her
the emotional freedom to do what most people in their early-20s do.
Chloe, however, begged for me to at least give Boston a try despite
numerous conversations about the logistics of the situation.

Please just understand the sacrifices that I made for your daughter
because I certainly do not take them lightly. In addition to looking
after Oliver, I gave my two months notice in Toronto and sold, gave
away or moved all of my things to my parents house so that I could be
there as soon as she gave me a definitive answer regarding her plans.
As Chloe’s probably told you, my livelihood is programming and
internet advertising, so the move from Toronto to the country where
e-commerce is impossible on a 56K modem was a sacrifice that I made
for Chloe and that I didn’t take lightly. I’m extremely private about
my finances, but in addition to turning down a $3000 contract (which
she was well aware of) along with a handful of smaller ones worth a
few hundred dollars to get into a state of readiness, I’ve seen my
advertising stream of income drop from thousands to hundreds (she was
unaware of the extent of this income, I guess) over the course of a
month and a bit due to my inability to maintain about 25 websites.
Furthermore, Chloe waited until after I’d purchased about $1000 worth
of health insurance to inform me of her decision.

When I decided to move and discussed it thoroughly with her, I knew
I’d be making these sacrifices. For happiness, both hers and mine, I
made those sacrifices. So while I know it’s in both of your interests,
and probably mine too, for Chloe to follow her gut; please, just know
that while I may not be the wealthiest or well-travelled, I was more
than willing to sacrifice my home, my friends, and darn-near $10000
just to make her happy and in turn, make myself happy.

For her to come to this conclusion right before my departure after
we’d discussed the potential for these feelings ad nauseum months
before gets to me. I know I’m a bit of a weird one, but the one thing
that I never questioned was whether or not she was worth the
sacrifices.

I know I wasn’t the typical boyfriend and I can’t thank you enough for
not rushing or even lingering to judgement. I’m sure my life
prospectives weren’t exactly easy to digest and explaining them to
both you and Mark terrified me. As an aside, I jokingly consider
myself a Mark Kingwell scholar after reading each and every book and
article that he’s written just in case our paths crossed and small
talk was required. Anyway, please just know that I devoted myself
emotionally and financially to at least trying out Boston because
that’s where Chloe was and to hear it’s all for not after we’d
explicitly discussed these particular emotions hurts.

Again, I can’t thank you enough for what I can only describe as ample patience,

Molly Montgomery to me

Sep 23

Dear,

I try not to pry into Chloe’s life too much and allow her some freedom
to learn from her experiences but I do, when asked, try to advise
or help her. I think you’ve been a wonderful boyfriend to her and
I realize this is hard. I think it is hard for her too. I think she is struggling
with a pressing urge to grow further and outwards with a combined affection
for you and her past and what is familiar and I am sure dear to her.
She needs to go ahead in her life, and learn a lot more. You were
her first deep long lasting relationship, but she needs more
experience and I think she is realizing this. There may be some background here
too – my sister, her aunt – looks like she is about to end her marriage
and perhaps she got married for the wrong reasons, and
without enough experience earlier in her life. The problem is there
are two children involved at tender ages, 13 and 9, and I think Chloe
quite rightly must be thinking about this. Additionally, I divorced her father,
though the issues were slightly different, but I did marry way too young.

I know she does not want to hurt you and is very sensitive about other
people’s feelings. But I think you have to let her do this. Perhaps
down the road you could be close friends – but that will take time and
healing. It pains me to watch young people (I sound like a grandmother)
struggle with intimacy and devotion at an age when all is in flux – as it should be
until one knows oneself well enough to commit fully to someone else.
She is much younger than you – and needs to figure all of this out.

I am sorry for the sacrifices you have made for her – but perhaps
better to know now rather than later. To actually have made the move
would have been worse. I think you have a lot of talent, and
the need for programming and internet advertising is growing all the time.
The economy here is much healthier than in the States.

I feel badly that we didn’t have you over for dinner, but I suspected some
fear on both of your ends and didn’t want to make anyone
uncomfortable. Perhaps I should have been less careful.

All my best and with fondness,
Molly

Me to Molly

Sep 27

Hi Molly,

I was uncertain how to address this and have hesitated, but I’ll
hesitate no longer. First and foremost, I just wanted to make it
perfectly clear that Chloe means a lot to me, and I can’t just simply
give up without a concerted and determined effort on my part.

I haven’t asked much of Chloe, but I have asked for honesty and a
genuine dedication to assess, analyze and attempt to solve any problem
that arose. As it turns out, plenty of problems just aren’t fixable
and I’m plenty aware of that but most problems can be fixed through
sacrifice and work. I’m a farm boy, and I’ve got a rather simple view
about most issues. If two people talk and express their concerns, most
things can be worked out. If you’ve both sacrificed and it still
doesn’t work; well, shit happens, and you both move on knowing damn
well that you tried your best.

I’ve seen too many relationships falter because rather than expressing
genuine concerns, one or both of the parties simply allowed the issues
to grow exponentially while grinning and baring it.

I know that Chloe means everything to you and you have absolutely no
stake in this other than Chloe’s happiness. However, if you are so
inclined, I’d love some of your time to simply discuss this. I will
gladly travel to Toronto to meet you (and Mark) for lunch or a quick
drink after work, but if that’s infeasible, I could also call you on
your cell phone.

I know you do not owe me words, let alone honest concerns, but I would
be a fool not to ask for them.

Thanks again,

Me to Molly

Sep 29

Well, thanks for your time. Maybe instead of giving up everything for
your daughter, I should’ve just constantly travelled and left her with
a baby or two, or at the very least just came home and hit a bottle of
gin to deal with her personality.

As always, thanks for inspiring me to follow my dream of art.

Yours in the maturity to decide issues rather than discuss them,

Kris.

I’m not going to lie, “Yours in the maturity to decide issues rather than discuss them,” is one of my favourite complimentary closes of all time.