www.topherkris.com

JULY 22ND.

Context: Obviously, I move out in a few days so I’m beginning to freak out. I’d given up my apartment, but still had all of it’s contents. I was basically freaking out because it was make or break time. Excuse the IMMENSE anger but I’d spent the previous day asking but one thing and that was no male sleepovers (still not unreasonable, imo) and that very night it was a party time. I’m a simple person: you want a sleepover, you let me judge the guy’s character first.

—————————

me: where you at
5:03 PM her@gmail.com: hi hi
sorry i missed you earlier – i dunno why it didnt bing. i was here

me: yo
 

her@gmail.com: yo
how goes it?
hot?

me: someone spend the night at your place last night?

her@gmail.com: XXXXX and XXXXX both crashed here on the air mattress b/c they missed thier last train
why?
don’t worry – no shenagans.

 me: ciao.

 her@gmail.com: oh come on bub

 me: piss off
it’s like you go out of your way to piss me off
 

her@gmail.com: no i don’t
i wanted to be honest – you asked. nothing happened – they’re just friends and we all went straight to bed, they both pretty far off on the floor

me: i dont care
that’s sketch

 her@gmail.com: why? they slept in the full clothes for godssakes
i can see why you feel that way
but honestly there’s nothing to worry about

me: yah
i dont trust you
at all

her@gmail.com: what?! what have i ever done that makes you think that way? i would NEVER cheat, never do anything like that ever
and it upsets me that you think i would

me: yup
well too fucking bad

 her@gmail.com: well, your wrong about that – i wouldnt cheat on you and never have

me: no, you would do whatever’s best for you
why would i trust someone that just up and leaves
how is that any different than cheating
i’m supposed to believe that somehow you wouldn’t do whatever you feel like
BS
that’s what you do

her@gmail.com: i think its very different, and nothing is stopping you from coming down here to visit and stuff. i’m not a cheater and never will be

5:23 PM me: oh yah
 

her@gmail.com: and yes – i do have guy friends. actually, now, most of my friends are guys
 

me: yah

her@gmail.com: but that doesnt mean i see them in that way or would ever go off and do soemthing with them
 

me: whatever

her@gmail.com: i wouldnt
 

me: What exactly is the plan
i go visit you for a few months
and we’re in the same fucking position
yah
GREAT fucking way to wast emoney

her@gmail.com: you could get a work visa or something

me: Oh, yah?
they just hand those out?
you’re fucking stupid
 

her@gmail.com: i’m not – all i’m saying is that there are ways to sort it out
it’s not like the border is some impenetrable force

you’re canadian – its not like you’re afghani – then yea, there would be a big problem

me: yah
so i stay for a few months
then what?
it’s not like i can stay forever

this is such bullshit and rather than breaking up with me, you’r epulling typical fucking bullshit

to disperse accountability

her@gmail.com: thats not it at all

 me: yah
whatever

her@gmail.com: i’m not thinking ohhhh i dont want to be accoutable

me: whatever
you are just being selfish about it

it doesn’t make a difference to you whether we’re dating or not while you’re down there or up here
it’s not like either of us get shit from it
it’s just something to do

her@gmail.com: why would you say that?

me: and all you do is piss me off

her@gmail.com: thats not how i feel at all
 

me: whatever

her@gmail.com: you always say stuff like that and that’s not how i see it

me: lovely
well guess what
actions speak louder than words

her@gmail.com: so you arent even willing to visit?

me: i don’t fucking know
at this point, i’d be paying to see the cat

her@gmail.com: nice
thanks

me: yah.

shoulda kept the damn thing

her@gmail.com: thanks.

me: well i’m sorry, but i actually miss him
he was there when i came back

and understandably, liked me a whole fuck of a lot more than he liked you.

her@gmail.com: he likes both of us

but ya, hes very bonded to you

 me: no shit

 because he knew i wouldn’t just peace on him

her@gmail.com: i dont think thats fair

me: whatever
leaving for boston wasn’t fair

her@gmail.com: i’m trying to figure out ways to make it work - and who knows, you could come visit and love it. thats why i want you to give it a chance

——————

Imo, I’m a fortune teller. And while I think the language probably requires an apology, I stand behind it and probably should’ve listened to my gut…

but as we know.. my gut always says, BURRRRRITOS.