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When I think about Chloe Puton, I realize that there was a great chance that we could’ve been terrific friends. There was absolutely no reason it had to end like this: end with excuses, lies, and selfishness.

All it would’ve taken was the decency to sit down and genuinely think about what she was asking, what she felt, and what she saw going forward. In my opinion, Chloe wasn’t forced to actually think about what was happening until the last possible second before I came down. At that point, it affected her and not just me so she obviously had to consider it.

Personally giving away ten grand, not even counting the shit I have to repurchase or the extra rent I’ll have to pay, really didn’t affect her. Since it didn’t affect her, she was perfectly content just begging for me to come down.

I really didn’t think that I was in a relationship with someone who couldn’t address their feelings until it affected them.

In a perfect world, we would’ve said goodbye and broken up (as I tried to do). There wouldn’t have been months of her begging me to come down and I’d be living happily in Toronto and more than anything, I would’ve respected her as a human being.

Instead, Chloe Puton just acted as a selfish (insert expletive) that only considered things that directly affected Chloe Puton. She had no problem stringing me along until it was no longer convenient for her, and I don’t think that she even considered what she was asking me to do.

I’ve gained some insight from this process: If you ever spot selfish tendancies, address them immediately.

If your girlfriend wont let you borrow $100 from a jar that contains $8000 for two hours so you don’t have to go to the bank, there’s probably going to be a problem down the line. If a girlfriend makes you buy groceries  because she considers herself broke because her savings and checkings account have a name, there’s probably going to be a problem down the line. I mean, seriously, because my money didn’t have a title like “Boston money”, somehow it was relationship money, but she’d sit on thousands of dollars and wouldn’t be able to afford shit because her money had a purpose?

Is that how normal people view money? Should I just start saving up for something and then just proclaim to be broke?

When you buy flowers for a girl every couple of weeks, but can’t convince her to bring you a bag of chips, there’s probably going to be a problem.

When you have to stock their apartment with the necessities (toilet paper, cleaning supplies, paper towels, condiments) and then argue for hours that they should probably buy toilet paper too, there’s problem going to be a problem.

I often wonder what the fuck Chloe would’ve wiped her ass with had I not bought toilet paper for every apartment that she ever lived in. I wonder what she would’ve cleaned her apartment with had I not bought buckets of cleaning supplies. I wonder what her fucking toilet would’ve looked like, had I not been the one to clean it. I don’t know if she bought a single tube of toothpaste the entire time we were together (okay, I remember one). What about the Toothbrushes, you ask? Yah, unfortunately I bought those too. She did however buy one toothbrush a couple months before she left for Boston. I bet she spent hours why dishsoap always magically appeared under her cabinet.

This is a girl that will spend $50 dollars on groceries for one meal, and then complain that she was too fucking poor to buy fucking sugar.

I really just wonder how this would’ve played out if just once I said, “You’re an adult, Chloe Puton. Act like one.”

I wonder how she would’ve turned out if her mother still didn’t pay for her cellphone bill as a 23-year old living in another country. I wonder how it would’ve turned out if she ever equated $50 grocery bill with 3 or 4 hours of work.

I wondered how it would’ve turned out if someone just said, “NO!” to her. It’s funny when someone thinks that they grew up poor because “cabbage town used to be the ghetto,” but always had the safety net of multi-million dollar grandparents to step in.

I’ll certainly never forgive someone being so incredibly selfish that they’d never even consider what they were asking of someone. I guess that’s what happens when your grandparents come to town and just drop thousands of dollars on you for existing and simply spending time with them.

It’s sad that I had to remind Chloe that shit like that deserves not just a “Thank you,” but actions that represent those words.

It’s a sad state of affairs when your boyfriend spends more money on a Christmas present for your mother than you do. It’s an even sadder state of affairs when you can’t spend $20 bucks on your grandparents for Christmas or their birthday, not because you don’t have it, but because you hate spending your money on anyone else but yourself. Shit, they gave you that money!

It’s bridging on pitiful that your boyfriend has to buy a gift for you to give to your step-father to break the ice because you’re not getting along. PS: Mark Kingwell, you’re welcome for the Autographed Copy of Bullpen Gospels  inscribed, “I’ve read your work, and it sucks. Keep trying. Just kidding!”

Whenever someone spent money on me, I didn’t view it as the amount, I viewed it as the time. Someone drops $20 bucks on you and they make $10 an hour, they just decided that you were worth two hours. Someone drops $2000 on you and they’re making $1000 an hour, it’s just the same two hours.

I can’t fucking count the times that I demanded Chloe purchase thank-you gifts for people that’ve done something nice for her. Selfish people don’t think like the rest of us, I guess. They see a $20 gift as $20 of their money, they don’t see it as an hour or two worth of work. To anyone at the Toronto publishing house, you’re welcome. I have no clue if she gave you the chocolate, but I had to logically walk her through why something that you give away doesn’t just disappear, it gets appreciated. Shit, it only took the entire internship for her to tell me that she got a stipend and wasn’t just poor as dirt. I guess that was her money, and her money shouldn’t have to go to the necessities of life, not a penny of it.

I guess when people just give you things for the entirety of your life, you’ll simply equate money-to-love rather than viewing it as money-to-time-to-love.

It’s funny that I’m so stupid but I’ll always think back to her place at Walmer.

I didn’t live there, but it literally took me 4 or 5 days to talk to every single elderly person in the building. I listened intently to their stories (and there were some goodies) and made sure that everyone knew that if they ever needed anything, that I was more than willing to help them. I offered to do groceries for the entire fucking floor for hoot’s sake. If you tell me about your sore ankles, I’ll make damn sure that you know I go to the grocery store daily and if you ever need anything, you can just leave me a note or catch me in the hall and it in no way inconveniences me. Chloe on the other hand just bitched about how they talked your ear off. I mean, shit, these were people too and sometimes spending fifteen minutes of your time listening is worth more than 100, 200, or 5000 bucks.

When I didn’t get my way, I talked. When Chloe didn’t get her way, especially in Boston, she would make me skype with her so that I had to watch her cry.

Maybe people think I’m childish for expressing these feelings, but I honestly never realized that people could be *that* self-centred.

But hey, at least I walked out of the relationship with a set of naked photos. That’s totally worth it, right?