www.topherkris.com

I’d never drop you after I no longer needed you.

I’m not the kind of person that would ask you to look after the cat

and then drop you when you’re no longer needed.

I’m certainly not the kind of person that would ask you to give up your apartment,

ability to work, your job, and all your stuff.

Sure, I knew you were giving up all your baseball cards, paintings, and everything that made you smile (besides me, of course)

I knew, because you told me, repeatedly.

But, I’m innocent in this matter because

I didn’t go into it with a malicious plan or anything…

I didn’t mean to use you, it just happened and,

therefore, I am free and clear of any responsibility.

Yes, I understood you repeatedly told me that this would be expensive,

and told me that a move was a big deal for you,

and made sure I fully understood what I was asking of you.

But, in my defense,  I told you not to purchase health insurance,

even though I knew you needed it and wouldn’t leave without it.

I told you I’d pay for all the things the cat broke while he was at your apartment:

a new xbox, and hundreds of dollars worth of cards.

I told you I’d look after it once you got down here…

what you didn’t know was that you’d never be coming down.

So, yes, I’m innocent in this matter…

You’re the sucker that looked after my cat while I couldn’t

You’re the sucker that gave up your apartment,

You’re the sucker that gave away all of your baseball cards,

You’re the sucker that turned down thousands of dollars in contracts,

You’re the sucker that paid for health insurance,

You’re the sucker that widdled your life down to two suitcases,

You’re the sucker that got me my job at Anansi,

You’re the sucker that edited all my work,

You’re the sucker that supported me whenever I had issues,

You’re the sucker that believed every word that I said.

I’m just innocent you know, because you misunderstood when I told you to get a work visa

and the border wasn’t an impenetrable force.

When you had an issue, you talked it out and expressed concerns.

I told you that I would’ve handled it differently but,

it just sort of happened and I’m innocent because

I’m not malicious, of course I didn’t do this on purpose.

When you said you didn’t trust me, it really hurt, you should’ve trusted me.

When you tried to break up with me, I wanted you to know that I loved you,

and we could be together in Boston, all you had to do was move.

Before we broke up, you went over everything with me,

every single question, every single outcome, and I gave you the answers you were looking for.

That’s why I’m innocent in this matter.

We sat around at chatted one night and you said, I don’t trust you.

I said, “trust me.”

So, we had an exercise in trust…

You told me to ask you anything about your life and in return for an answer,

You got a naked picture of me. Three questions, Three Naked Pictures.

In retrospect, it was not a very fair trade, and it was an awful exercise in trust.

Before I left, I said you’d get your birthday present when you got to Boston

What you didn’t know was that you wouldn’t be coming to Boston.

I am completely innocent in this,

because breaking up with you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

I know that I didn’t have the decency to do it to your face,

but I couldn’t, because I had a date that week.

So, I decided to break up with you two days after you’d spent a grand on health insurance,

over the computer.

When you tried to let me be free, I cried all night on skype.

You can’t break up with me, just come to Boston.

I’m innocent in all this, because I didn’t have a malicious plan.

When I told you how much you’d be paying in rent, I was lying,

but you can still pay that much if you’d like.

I didn’t fuck you over, things just sort of happened like that.

I know you addressed the possibility of things happening exactly like this,

over, and

over, and

over and over.

I just don’t understand why you’d be so upset. You wanted to break up with me anyways,

I’m innocent in all of this because my plan wasn’t malicious,

I just didn’t have a plan.