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Chloe Puton: 2 Months Of Organized Thoughts.

I’m done documenting this shit, so it’s time to organize all the Chloe Puton shit into an organized mess.

The Last and Final Chloe Puton Rant The Ironically titled first rant documenting a large part of my anger with Chloe Puton. I’m all like “Seriously, yo. There’s a reason why I went over all this shit with you prior to giving up my life.”

In Other News: Trying to understand what kind of immature twat would actually let their boyfriend go through the process of giving up their apartment, job and purchasing insurance before breaking up with ‘em.

Something I Never Understood About Chloe Puton: I still don’t get this. Why would someone repeatedly decline the option of me breaking up? If I break up with her, I’m the guy that didn’t have the heart to follow her down to Boston! I’m the bad guy! Instead, I had to deal with her crying her face off on skype. Also a little more bitching on why exactly she waited so long to break up with me. A few days earlier and I save a shit tonne of money by not purchasing insurance.

A September e-Mail with Chloe Puton: Ends again in me having to watch her cry on skype. This is barely a month before she busts my fucking balls. Prior to this fuck-over, I used to be a rational person. You know, asking all the right questions, making sure she knew what she was asking and that she was still young.

When I Think About The Relationship With Chloe Puton: A rather lengthy self-exploration journey. I basically realized that I should’ve seen this coming from a mile away, and in part, did.

An Email With Molly, Chloe’s Mom: I enjoy this email thoroughly, and would love to hear how I could’ve handled it better. I go through life rather relaxed and as you’ll see, go out of my way to make sure people are happy. I’m a pretty a’ight dude when it comes to most things and all I ever ask for is the respect requited to voice any concerns before they become problems. As I said, basically any problem with another person can be resolved through discussion, unless you let that mofo fester. The only reason that any problem ever festers is complete and utter selfishness. I’ve never viewed pursuing the life that you’d like as a selfish venture, but avoiding the hard discussions that go along with that choice is as selfish as fuck. If you want something, take it and don’t apologize for your desire to possess it. Avoiding discussions that need to eventually take place is a sign of not just avoidance, but selfishness.

Some Nietzsche: Apt.

On Molly Montgomery: This is where I realized that despite my insistence on Chloe making sure her parents knew exactly what the hell was going down that they were completely in the blue. It was funny, because  neither Patrick Puton nor Molly knew a single thing about what Chloe was asking.

On Safety Nets: This is where I realized that Chloe was literally keeping me around just in case she went to Boston and didn’t make pals.

I’m Not A Moron: I’ve been known as the less successful House, M.D. for a while and last night there was a line about House being too rational. That describes me very well. My desire for rationality is literally a sickness. This is where I lay out that Chloe’s version of the story, the one that Molly and Patrick both regurgitated to me and my mother, was complete and utter bullshit.

I’m Not A Moron, The Reference: A Gmail Conversation from the end of July right before I moved out for her. I’m basically freaking out and making sure she knows that A) this is expensive as fuck and B) she tells me to come down and get a work visa. It starts with me losing my shit because I’d asked her the night before to not do one thing.. just one thing.. no male sleepovers and she of course said fuck it.

Forgot About This Gem About Chloe Puton: This is where I figured out that her program wasn’t a program at all, but instead just a class.

Another Chloe Puton Conversation: Oh, you mean the guy that’s giving up his job and apartment is freaking the fuck out and urging you to consider what you’re asking? and explaining to you how much goddamn money it’s going to cost? It again ends with me having to watch her cry her fucking face off over skype and blah, blah, I love you come down.

A Summary Of The Question/Answers With Chloe Puton: This is where I explain that I’d asked her every goddamn question that she spat back at me when we broke up.

A Conversation With Michael Lanzano: Right after Chloe busted my balls, I shot the guy a message. I figured I should let him know exactly what the hell he was getting into.

 On Chloe Puton’s Naked Photos -

Chloe Puton and Choices: Pretty Lengthy, Not Worth Reading

Who The Hell is Michael Lanzano: Honestly, the disclaimer’s worked well. Just not for one person, Michael Lanzano. Or Maybe his mom.

Summary Poem, Not About Chloe Puton per se.

Realistically, there’s a lot of repetition, but I was pretty cheesed and was seeking some advice from some bros. Advice that I got, eventually.