Pacman Jones Is Movin’ On Up.

It appears as though Pacman Jones smartened up while on suspension from the Tennessee Titans. He finally realized that rich people do not need to shoot people. Rich people order hits, and thats exactly what Pacman allegedy totes did.

John Barr from ESPN’s least entertaining show broke the story, apparently.

Unfortunately, the Dallas Cowboys ended up releasing Pacman — LAME.

Pacman’s new found intelligence jumped out and smacked a bitch when confronted with these allegations:

It will be a lawsuit in a week against ESPN. That’s stupid. It’s so stupid I have no more comments. Surprised? Yeah, I was surprised, All I can do is keep working hard, keep my nose clean and hope for the best.

A lovely snippet from the ESPN article, showing that it’s always snitches and bitches that cause a playah problems:

The June 2007 shooting occurred outside a suburban Atlanta strip club. One of the shooting victims told “Outside the Lines” that he had a dispute with Jones inside the strip club and that not long after he and the two others left the club, a hail of bullets struck their car. The NFL knew about that incident, but charges were never brought against anyone because the victims did not see the shooter.

“Outside the Lines” obtained information that police, investigating a separate Atlanta-area case, had been told by an informant that Jones ordered the June 2007 shooting following his dispute with one of the men. Police have said that while the case remains open, they are not actively investigating.

Roger Goodell In Bed With Jerry Jones: Eagles Forced To Sleep in Wet Spot

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T.O Tries To Put Words Together

Watch T.O. Attempt to put a sentence together while Steven A. Smith tries to sound smart.

Its painful to watch. T.O. is still bitching about how everyone was open, but Romo just kept throwing to Witten.

Terrell Owens To Appear On MTV’s My Super Sweet 16

The latest Terrell Owens saga is unbelievably confusing, and listening to anything that comes out of Terrell’s mouth only makes it more confusing.

When the words coming out of someone’s mouth make absolutely no sense; odds are they’re lying or they’re wearing a bike helmet and drooling all over themselves.

According to Terrell Owens, the events occured as follows:

1. MONDAY – We lost, I got upset that Romo didn’t throw me the ball. So the receivers had a talk with Dallas Offensive Coordinator, Jason Garrett, about our role in the offense.
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How Roger Goodell spent Pacman Jones’ Salary.

As part of the new NFL personal conduct policy, Jerry Jones has to make it rain in the NFL League Offices instead of paying Adam “Pacman” Jones his salary.

Goodell can force the team to pay up to 50 percent of the players game day cheque, up to a maximum of $500,000. With this being Pacman’s second serious offense, the cap is lowered to $200,000.

With Pacman making about $20,558 a game and Jerry Jones figuring he’ll have to fork over about 40 percent of that, this means Roger is raking in six weeks worth of $8223.20 or about 50K.

So How is Roger going to  spend dat bling?

1. Snorting cocaine off strippers asses at the Brass Rail in Toronto with Ted Rogers seems like a fairly solid foundation.  He did bring regular season  football to Canada after all. That’ll probably set him  back 8 or 9 grand, but I expect Ted to at least cover his share — so Roger Goodell’s got about 45K Left.
2. Pay people to binge drink in front of Jared Allen’s house. Drinking problems are funny, especially when you’re a high motor kind of guy. 41k Left.
3. Increase the push for African American Coaches, and Affirmative action in the NFL coaching ranks.  With Romeo Cornell, Marvin Lewis, and Mike Singletary almost certainly out  of a job due to sheer suckiness, and Tony Dungy eventually retiring, good old Roger is left with only Tomlin and Herm Edwards are guarentees for next year.  Lovie Smith is too likeable and after the Bears fail to make the playoffs he’s out too. 30k left
4. Start investing the cost of an NFL funded replay system that isn’t reliant on the network tv cameras. 0 Dollars left. Appear on ESPN non-stop for the next week emphasizing how distant the NFL is from sports betting and how betting will never influence his decisions as commisioner. 0 Dollars left.

Terrell Owens

So the ink comes first, and then the watercolor and finally some charcoal and then ta da :