Drunk Driving How-To: Jamal Williams, DT, San Diego Chargers
Jamal Williams Arrested For Being a Jolly Old Fat Man.
Jamal Williams, one of my most favouritest defensive tackles, was busted for drunk driving (suspicion my ass) as reported by 10news.com.
What makes this incredibly ballin’ is not that Jamal Williams shared the Chargers’ team-MVP with Phillip Rivers, it’s not that Jamal Williams was arrested three days after the wild-card game and was still allowed to play the Steelers in the AFC Championship — It’s that Jamal Williams is a mountain of a man.
Williams comes in at about 6′3″ and is listed at 350lbs but is probably closer to 375lbs. So how does a man get this hammered? Hammered enough to get to California’s .08 blood alcohol limit?
Blood Alcohol Calculator to the rescue!
Scott Gould Flickr
Here’s a brief recap of the hour leading up to Jamal’s arrest.
9:00pm: One Vodka Cranberry
9:10pm: One Beer
9:20pm: One Red Bull and Vodka
9:30pm: One Full Fledged Martini, none of this single shot bullshit
9:45pm: One Shot of his choice
9:52pm: One White Russian
and BAM, we’ve achieved the BARE MINIMUM in California, a .08!
A 350lb man can drink 8 standard drinks in 1 hour, and only blow a .076! That’s point .004 below the legal limit.
Please keep in mind, he probably blew over the legal limit so I bet he had one hell of a night.
While its a lot less fun to think about, he can only drink 10 in 2 hours, and then 11 or 12 in 3 hours.
Mr. Paul Maguire Brings The Awesome: WISC vs. FSU in Champ Sports Bowl
December 27, 2008 by kris
Filed under college football
Since Paul Maguire moved to ESPN away from broadcast television, I have missed him dearly. Canadian broadcasting laws dictate that all capable commentators be replaced by Rod Black and his mustache grease.
In what may be the most pathetic moment of this Holiday season, Paul admitted that he got “zippo” for Christmas because his BASTARD grandchildren didn’t get him anything.
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Cheap Gifts For A Football or Sports Fan: 20 Dollars and Under
The GM: The Inside Story of a Dream Job and the Nightmares that Go With It By Tom Callahan
I was lucky enough to receive a hard-cover version of this book earlier this year. I’m fairly cheap cheap as fuck and I refused to drop the 35 bucks Canadian required to buy this book. The book looked great, but it was only 288 pages and before I even picked up the book I got the feeling i’d be wanting more after I finished reading it.
The GM is about the New York Football Giants, and their former GM, Ernie Acorsi. I’m not a Giants fan, at all. I actually think they’re a bunch of scum-bags who more than likely lube themselves up with baby-oil after games and wrestle naked in the lockerroom.
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“The Man” Angered By Obama: College Football Pays The Price.
Barack Obama asked the American people for change, and they accepted. Then he asked for a BCS Playoff system, which just went too damn far:
“I think it is about time we had playoffs. I’m fed up with these computer rankings and this and that and the other. Get eight teams — the top eight teams right at the end. You got a playoff.”