Pacman Jones Is Movin’ On Up.
It appears as though Pacman Jones smartened up while on suspension from the Tennessee Titans. He finally realized that rich people do not need to shoot people. Rich people order hits, and thats exactly what Pacman allegedy totes did.
John Barr from ESPN’s least entertaining show broke the story, apparently.
Unfortunately, the Dallas Cowboys ended up releasing Pacman — LAME.
Pacman’s new found intelligence jumped out and smacked a bitch when confronted with these allegations:
It will be a lawsuit in a week against ESPN. That’s stupid. It’s so stupid I have no more comments. Surprised? Yeah, I was surprised, All I can do is keep working hard, keep my nose clean and hope for the best.
A lovely snippet from the ESPN article, showing that it’s always snitches and bitches that cause a playah problems:
The June 2007 shooting occurred outside a suburban Atlanta strip club. One of the shooting victims told “Outside the Lines” that he had a dispute with Jones inside the strip club and that not long after he and the two others left the club, a hail of bullets struck their car. The NFL knew about that incident, but charges were never brought against anyone because the victims did not see the shooter.
“Outside the Lines” obtained information that police, investigating a separate Atlanta-area case, had been told by an informant that Jones ordered the June 2007 shooting following his dispute with one of the men. Police have said that while the case remains open, they are not actively investigating.
Roger Goodell In Bed With Jerry Jones: Eagles Forced To Sleep in Wet Spot
Carolina Octopi: So Many Arms!
The Carolina Panthers managed to shit their incredibly cold, incredibly frozen, East Rutherford bed tonite against the New York Football Giants.
If you like bone crunching, late-december football — this was your game.
So how did Carolina shit the bed so disastrously?
They were without their primary run stopper up front, Maake Kemoeatu. That’s a problem. However, Kemoeatu’s presence would have made a marginal difference, if any, tonite.
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T.O Tries To Put Words Together
Watch T.O. Attempt to put a sentence together while Steven A. Smith tries to sound smart.
Its painful to watch. T.O. is still bitching about how everyone was open, but Romo just kept throwing to Witten.
Cheap Gifts For A Football or Sports Fan: 20 Dollars and Under
The GM: The Inside Story of a Dream Job and the Nightmares that Go With It By Tom Callahan
I was lucky enough to receive a hard-cover version of this book earlier this year. I’m fairly cheap cheap as fuck and I refused to drop the 35 bucks Canadian required to buy this book. The book looked great, but it was only 288 pages and before I even picked up the book I got the feeling i’d be wanting more after I finished reading it.
The GM is about the New York Football Giants, and their former GM, Ernie Acorsi. I’m not a Giants fan, at all. I actually think they’re a bunch of scum-bags who more than likely lube themselves up with baby-oil after games and wrestle naked in the lockerroom.
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NFL Fantasy Football Tight End: 2009 Brandon Pettigrew Preview
December 14, 2008 by kris
Filed under College-Kids
Brandon Pettigrew – Tight End – Oklahoma State Cowboys (Big 12)
Gatt, Gatt. Brandon Pettigrew!
Height: 6′6″
Weight: 260lbs
Best 40 Time: 4.76s
Projected 40 Time: 4.80
Projected Bench: 24 Times @ 225lbs
Well, Brandon Pettigrew is a bad bad man.
He was busted in January for cursing and assaulting a police officer – shortly after he announced he’d stay another year and finish his degree.
He likes education, but also likes fighting cops. I guess they cancel each other out, and eliminate any attitude problems Pettigrew may have.
Anyways, this year’s draft class doesn’t seem to have crazy Vernon Davis / Dustin Keller-type freakishness.
There are however a good amount of very solid, very reliable, prototypical tight ends. Pettigrew leads this class.
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NFL Fantasy Football Quarterback: 2009 Sam Bradford Preview
December 9, 2008 by kris
Filed under College-Kids
Sam Bradford – Quarterback – Oklahoma Sooners (Big 12)
Top 10 Reasons To Date A Detroit Lions Fan
1. You don’t have to worry about scoring; its going to be quick and easy
Visanthe Shiancoe Helps Fantasy Squads, EVERYWHERE: Giant Black Horse Dong 2.0
So, Vikings owner Zygi Wilf decided to give the game ball to Brad Childress whose son is over in Iraq, fighting terrorists. TERRORISTS. Good Job Zygi!
Problem: Fox’s cameras inside the locker room forgot to tell everyone to put their Giant PENISES away while they filmed the moving speech.
I’m a huge fan of killing terrorists, and giant black horse dongs — so these two were a match made in heaven. Unfortunately, I cannot find a great photo.
Please do not overlook Visanthe Shiancoe’s HUGE fantasy day: 65 Yards and a TD, thats 12 Fantasy points!
Unforunately, here’s the only video i can find:
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from deadspin.com
NFL: It’s A Good Year To Be Bad, Maybe? Wait… Turducken!
...at a hockey game?
There’s some bad teams in the National Football League this year, some real bad teams. The Detroit Lions are pulling an O-fer and the Bengals just dont seem to give a damn.
Of course in the NFL, futility is rewarded with a high draft pick. There’s no lottery like the NBA, or NHL — If you’re the worst team, you get the best pick.
Watching Matt Ryan dominate defenses may lead you to believe this is a good thing, until you watch JaMarcus Russell throw yet another pick. When he came into the league wasn’t he supposed to be able to throw the ball through people? from he’s knees? with his arms tied behind his back? while curing AIDS?
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