Jay Triano’s Raptors Suck 8 – 10 Miles of Cock

The Toronto Raptors have  been beating worse teams, and losing to better teams.  This is an improvement over Sam Mitchell’s philosophy of competing against good teams, and then getting blown out by bad teams.

Brian Colangelo, promoted Triano knowing the Toronto media would give him an extended shot, because he’s Canadian.  We love our own, and if they get a shot at the big time we’ll support them — even if they are really fucking bad.

I Supported Jesse Palmer in Florida, New York, and on the hit tv show, The Bachelor. I cheered when the cameras dimmed and Jesse was more than likely getting a sloppy bj.

Unfortunately, the Raptors defense is awful. Through a few games, it looks like Mitchell and Triano have the same defensive philosophy: “Collapse on the ball, and then forget to rotate”
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Toronto Raptors Pwnage of the Charlotte Bobcats

Larry Brown, now there’s a coach. I’ve got a spectacularly average-sized hard on for Larry Brown, and the way he molds a team. The man is a dragon, and when he spits hot flames — the team pays attention.

Everything I love about Larry Brown, I hate about Sam Mitchell. However, Sam’s super-awesome coaching style did do some good last night.

Charlotte scores 87 points per night and Toronto held them to 86 points. Sam Mitchell’s advice undoubtedly saved us a single point.  That, and Reymond Felton putting up one of his trademark 2-for-Too-Many type games (2-for-10).  If Reymond were Toronto’s point guard, Sam would compliment him on his work ethic and not giving up on his shot.

Sam Mitchell did play Joey Graham though, and Joey produced. I <3 Joey Graham, and I think Mitchell has done everything in his power to break Graham’s confidence.

Coming into the NBA, Oklahoma State product Joey Graham was far and away the best athlete of his class.

• Bench: 185lbs, 26 times.  Most in the group.
• Vertical Jump: 36 inches
• Lane Agility: 10.62 second
• 3/4 Court Sprint: 3.05 seconds

Graham is big, strong, and fast for a 3. His shot needs work, as does his defense but this should’ve been fixed by now.

22 Minutes, 17 Points, 6REB, 1 TO, 5 PF isn’t the best line but he’s getting there.

Sam Mitchell Frustrated With Soft Team & Softer Erections.

Over the summer Mr. Sam Mitchell decided to become a new man, a soft man. A pussy assed bitch, of a man.

“I made a vow, a promise to the players and myself that I’m not using any profanity this year, I’ve been two months and I haven’t slipped,” he said. “I really believe people in general appreciate someone who’s always trying to get better. I just think if you become a better person, you become better at your job. I just really believe that.” (Toronto Star)

Sam Mitchell has indeed went soft, very soft. After scouring the INTERNET for proof, i found what i can only assume to be a Sam Mitchell post on the popular health website www.steadyhealth.com.

Posting as  “rydawn911111″ it appears as though Sam has some issues with his erection:

“hi… I have been masturbating since i was 13. i usually masturbate once a day. I used to have a good stiff erection but recently my erections have become soft. I recently found a masseger in my house and started using that and started masturbating more and more. Is my soft erections due to just masturbating to much and will get more stiff after i stop for awhile o do i have a long-term problem that needs to be treated?”

Mr. Mitchell may I recommend:

1. Arginine - Alleviates male infertility, improving sperm production and motility. Increases circulation throughout the body, including the sex organs.
2. Yohimbe – Magical sexual cure for all your erection woes
3. Horny Goat Weed -  a semi-synthetic derivative of the active compound in Epimedium brevicornum, an ancient Chinese herbal remedy for impotence, performed as well as Viagra but with the potential for fewer side effects, the researchers say. (Vancouver Sun)
4. 36 Hour Cialis – Works in about 30 minutes, and last 36 hours! 66 % of men prefer Cialis to Viagra.

The Choice is yours, Sam. I’d recommend bringing back the swear but if you wanna go the herbal penis medication route, please do so.  The team will follow your lead, and if you’re soft they’re going to be three times as soft — they are European, and all.

PS: Please get Jermaine O’Neal Healthy.